So you have a date

The first reason being, um, I didn't give you permission to go out on a date.

I didn't tell you that it was okay.

You're supposed to be here doing whatever I tell you to do.

You're not supposed to be out with some girl.

No.

It doesn't work that way, darling.

And you know it.

The second reason I'm shocked is, uh, you found a date.

I mean, really, that's very surprising to me.

And, um, I'm gonna let you go out on your date in part because you found one.

And, uh, I'm kind of curious how you did find one.

How you found a girl to go out with you.

Did you join an internet dating site and put up pictures of somebody else?

Somebody who looks like a real man?

Or, uh, maybe you got, like, a mail order bride.

Does she speak English?

Is she looking for a green card or something?

I mean, really.

Who in their right mind would go out with you?

I don't even know why I put up with you.

I guess you're a decent cook, maybe that's why.

But, uh, yeah, really.

Where'd you find this girl?

Is she a wildebeest?

Oh, I bet she is.

I bet she's, like, 500 pounds and mousy brown hair and...

Does she have a beard?

She's gotta be a wildebeest.

But again, I am very disappointed.

...